By Dawn Stewart, Bsc, MPA, PHDWe must take action for victims and survivors of domestic abuse in addition, to the prevention ofDr Dawn Stewartabuse in our communities! We can end the cycle of violence!! We must end the cycle of violence!!!The darkness of abuse that hovers over the women, girls and children of Guyana is implausible.? The question is, do we as a nation understand the culture of abuse and if so, are we prepared to stop the circle of violence?I was driven to write this narrative by many factors, I sat back and read the newspapers, coached, counseled, interviewed and worked with abuse in various areas in Guyana, but nothing has made me angrier than the abuse dealt on the 16-year-old female, who it has been alleged was caught in a compromising position with a male worker.I truly believe after my visit to this young lady that every woman, every mother, every sister, every brother, every father should be angry.? Angry about the treatment, disrespect, and abuse that our women often experience in silence.?? Until we are angry enough to stop the cycle of violence we will see more of our daughters suffering the fate of so many women we read about in the news and the others we never see or hear from.? Today it’s them – the other family, but remember tomorrow it could be you or your family!!!I had an opportunity to read some blogs on this particular story in the news and to my surprise and disgust, many persons mainly women sought to blame the victim for the horrific abuse she received at the hands of her alleged lover.? For this I am compelled to attempt to educate my sisters and brothers on abuse.WHY DO PEOPLE STAY IN VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS?Although there is a myth that people, especially women, stay indefinitely in abusive relationships, the truth is that most people do eventually leave. Leaving is a process, though, and for some people it involves going back to the abusive partner and then leaving again. There are many reasons why people stay in an abusive relationship for a while,Jerseys NFL Cheap, a few include:•?? ?They fear the abuser, who may have threatened to kill them, or someone they love if they leave.•?? ?The abuser has succeeded in isolating them, personally and economically, to the point that they feel they have nowhere to go.•?? ?Their partner has succeeded in systematically dismantling their self-esteem so that they feel they are at fault or deserve the abuse and do not have the right to leave.Myth or FactPersons who are abused look for abuse, they like it, abusers are usually totally strangers, in many cases alcohol/drugs does play a role in abuse.Cycle of violenceThey are usually four phases of abuse:1.?? ?Tension Building (tension increases, Breakdown of communication, victim becomes fearful and feels the need to placate the abuser)2.?? ?Incident (verbal, emotional, physical abuse, anger,Wholesale Jerseys, blaming,Wholesale Soccer Jerseys, arguing, threats and Intimidation)3.?? ?Reconciliation (Abuser apologies, give excuses, blames the victim, denies abuse occurred, or says it wasn’t as bad as the victim claims.4.?? ?Calm (Incident is “forgotten”, no abuse is taking place. The “Honeymoon” Phase.Steps in abuseAbuse — The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behaviour. The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim “who is boss.”Guilt — After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he’s done to the victim. The guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences.Rationalization or excuses — The abuser rationalizes what he’s done. He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior—anything to shift responsibility from himself.“Normal” behaviour — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.Fantasy and planning — The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she’s done wrong and how he’ll make her pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.Set-up — The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPYour Inner Thoughts and Feelings…Your Partner’s Belittling BehaviorDo you:Feel afraid of your partner much of the time?Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?Feel emotionally numb or helpless?Does your partner:Humiliate, criticize, or yell at yo